This is a previously posted poem about Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Since I'm currently in this state right now and our power has been out for hours, a repost feels right.
Stunning poem that touches me in my own experience with an invisible disability. The disappointment, the missing out. The monster flicking through the calendar pages.
I started dealing with a very sudden despair right before my period several months ago. I'd had changes in mood before, but nothing like this, and in a way I'm grateful that it happened so suddenly, because it took much less time for me to get help than it may have if it had come on more gradually. But gosh, it really made me dread menstruating in a way I never had before.
Thank you, Mike. It says a lot about the safety of our community that the first draft around, I couldn’t even spell out PMDD because I felt so shy and worried that it was “too much.” I’m so thankful for the vulnerability that I see on Substack on a minute by minute basis.
The level of brushing off of women’s issues that is still entrenched in our culture is sad, to say the least. Of course it’s hard to speak up, even about your own experience. I believe your brave writing helps.
It took me forever to figure out that the sudden onset of actual despair and “nothing matters at all” feelings had a very real root. I was used to feeling cranky before my cycle, but not this kind of darkness.
Stunning poem that touches me in my own experience with an invisible disability. The disappointment, the missing out. The monster flicking through the calendar pages.
Thank you, Rebecca. It’s been several years since my diagnosis and I’m still trying to find my way through the maze. I’m sorry you know the same pain.
The dark hours that become dark days. The dark that becomes pitch black and swallows them all.
I feel you, Margaret.
Thank you, Fotini. I feel like your response is also a poem.
It could be, there are more to say about this...
Always (sadly).
As a fellow PMDD sufferer… thank you.
I’m sorry, Kristine (and you are very welcome—I always feel better knowing I’m not alone).
I started dealing with a very sudden despair right before my period several months ago. I'd had changes in mood before, but nothing like this, and in a way I'm grateful that it happened so suddenly, because it took much less time for me to get help than it may have if it had come on more gradually. But gosh, it really made me dread menstruating in a way I never had before.
Ugh. I hear you. I’m so glad you got help sorted out so quickly.
Thank you! Sending you love for your hard days.
I’m sending it back to you 💛.
Thank you for this beautiful and vulnerable expression.
Thank you, Mike. It says a lot about the safety of our community that the first draft around, I couldn’t even spell out PMDD because I felt so shy and worried that it was “too much.” I’m so thankful for the vulnerability that I see on Substack on a minute by minute basis.
The level of brushing off of women’s issues that is still entrenched in our culture is sad, to say the least. Of course it’s hard to speak up, even about your own experience. I believe your brave writing helps.
Flicking its claws through the calendar. Knowing the date of its arrival sounds terrifying.
It took me forever to figure out that the sudden onset of actual despair and “nothing matters at all” feelings had a very real root. I was used to feeling cranky before my cycle, but not this kind of darkness.
Thanks for putting this into words for us, I think people think it means just moody. Bloody hormones, it's a tough job owning a womb.
It truly is 💛.
Wow, that last paragraph!!! Fabulous poem
Thank you, Lisa! I was in such a dark place yesterday, and it helped (in a weird way) to revise this poem.
Ooofff, a pinch in the guts. Punch that should say punch
Pinch and punch both work, in my opinion. They take turns during my dreaded cycle 🫠.
Ooh that last paragraph. So well written!
Thank you, Kym! 💛
This is so powerful, Margaret.
Thank you, LeeAnn 💛.